I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
