Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize