Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
