Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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