I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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