Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
