I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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