who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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