Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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