so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
