So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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