I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
