white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
