either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
