tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
