yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
