he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize