wrigley field is MILF paradise
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
be right there i have to get my cape
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize