i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I love you.
Bad choice
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
