I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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