I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
