The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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