I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
