At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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