Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize