OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
