Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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