You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
