So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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