i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize