it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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