there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
