eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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