I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
