I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
