Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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