I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Is it penis luge time yet?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
