i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
