R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
