there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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