Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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