my soul wont recognize me after tonight
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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