Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
