He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I wear drunk well.
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