I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
