Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I need to calm my uterus...
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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