puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize