Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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