Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
