can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
