Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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