SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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