plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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