just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize