so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
