Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
