just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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