I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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