he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Randomize