....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
